Working New Year's Eve: Step-by-Step

Posted January 7th, 2010 05:01 by Brad Royale

Despite my habitual employment within restaurants I haven't worked a New Year's Eve (NYE) in about four years. Beautiful luck and fanciful timing I suppose have played a roll in this somewhat freeing escape from a busy restaurant holiday evening. As it has worked out, until this year, the celebrated event has fallen on evenings which were not my normal nights to work (awesome); however this year it fell smack on a Thursday, Bradley's night of the week to work at Divino (blasted). It's not that I don't like working holidays, I do, they tend to be spirited and well enthused and carry a lovely occasion to open some beautiful wine, all of my favourite things really. It's just that I could have been somewhere else.

The lure of being somewhere else has everything to do with having something to do NYE evening, besides working. Always such a production to figure out what's going on, who's going to be there and when, and for surely how I'm going to get home at 6am from some suburb just south of somewheresofaraway. Somewhere else like San Francisco would be a nice place to go (direct flight from Calgary, 2 ½ hours, could be in the lounge of the Clift hotel no later than 9pm with a reso at Delfina?) Or maybe Mexico (not so direct and a bit further, but warm and lazy aaannd warm and lazy.) The simple act of being somewhere else (physically, not simply absent mentally) inherently eliminates these above NYE issues, as you, by definition of travelling are actually doing something, just by being there. Perfect. Or not, if you have to work.

With these things in mind let us not be dampened by occupational hazards when the Big Night rolls into town and you're punching the clock. Below are step-by-step instructions to "amazing" times when you're working the NYE rotation. I'm pretty sure these steps are useable no matter what line of work you're in..... and I'm pretty sure I've used and or provided really great examples below .......I'm pretty sure.

Step One: Fill a giant bucket full of ice and plough into it your favourite selection of Champagne. If you work as a heavy machinery mechanic you could use an old tractor tire lined with a garbage bag if the situation arises. Or, if you're an airplane pilot or a race car driver you could fill a cooler ahead of time so that you're within arm's reach while flying/driving. Cardiothoracic and oromaxillofacial surgeons can have assistants help with the delivery of bubbles during operating times as surgical sterilization is a very real issue and everyone's concern.

Step Two: Open every single bottle of Champagne in the bucket all at the same time. This way there is no turning back on the road to "amazing" and everything will have to be celebrated...come hell or high water.

Step Three: Have someone make you two dozen escargot. The real kind with hoards of butter and garlic. The fat content here is going to prove strong in the last legs of your Champagne diet on the road to "amazing."

Step Four: Make sure to drink at least one bottle of Moët & Chandon Brut Imperial for its sweeping bubbles, extroverted personality and resemblance to a teeny-tiny little skirt. Then drink at least one bottle of Larmandier Bernier Traditional Brut to see why this small house confirms your earlier notions to buy more of it; gift wrapped for your mouth, it blows your mind. Once complete, drink at least one bottle of Cédric Bouchard Roses de Jeanne Les Ursules to proudly proclaim this is "mindblowinglydeliciousgoddammit."

Step Five: Not so much a step as just sound advice. When ushering a homeless man from the lobby of Divino always get back up; especially when he's bigger than you and fantastically crazy. This will only prevent your hand from being slammed in the door, bruising and swelling to follow. This will allow further bottles of Champagne to be opened in an elegant rather than painful manner.

Step Six: Drink at least one glass of Dom Pérignon Rosé. Possibly the greatest rosé Champagne you'll ever taste. Such power and precision, all the grandeur of the blanc, just with more of it. Simply "amazing."

Step Seven: Remember to serve some of the Champagne to your guests, they'll notice the giant bucket filled with bubbling goodness and ask questions. Best to beat them to the punch. If you don't have guests, maybe because you're a pirate or a dog trainer, you can skip step seven.

Step Eight: Have some water; it's only 6:30pm. The road to "amazing" is seemingly never ending at this point and survival is crucial to happiness in the New Year.

Step Nine: At the crash of midnight cheers everyone with a bottle of Jean Milan Special Blanc de Blancs, they'll love you for thinking so highly of them. You'll love yourself because it's unbelievably delicious, coy yet playful, serious yet accessible.

Step Ten: Take at least one magnum of Delamotte Brut to wherever you go after you punch the clock (probably 2am at this stage.) After hour parties on NYE deserve, ".... nothing short of a 1,500 ml injection of good times..." spoken with true elegance and grace, one has to love the social mindfulness of urological surgeons.

Step Eleven: Find someone who will be impressed with your intimate knowledge of Champagne, charm them until they agree to kiss you. This will prove "amazing" in the New Year when your head hurts and you need someone to tenderly make you eggs and nourish you with Egly-Ouriet Rosé. Poor little thing.

Step Twelve: Plan great things for the New Year with much grandeur and enthusiasm...it all seems so very reasonable.

Brad

Royale Around Town's blog

Cédric Bouchard Roses de Jeanne Les Ursules Champagne Delamotte Brut Dom Pérignon Rosé Egly-Ouriet Rosé Jean Milan Special Blanc de Blancs Larmandier Bernier Traditional Brut Moët & Chandon Brut Imperial New Year's Eve