In fact, calling it a 'film' is more praise than it deserves. However, the manager gives the presidential suite to a celebrity and breaks the deal with him. Mike was generally a happy kid. I'm going to take them in the rear. When Xerxes Ken Davitian , the evil god king of Persia, sends his massive army to Sparta, King Leonidas Sean Maguire and 13 strapping warriors rise up to defend their homeland.
Leonidas: We'll funnel the Persians in where their numbers won't count for shit! Ryan Seacrest: I'm sorry, king, but your journey ends here. Meet the Spartans is a 2008 parody of pop culture and the movie 300, which tells the ancient story of the Battle of Thermopylae. Because when the going gets tough, the tough go antiqueing. Why're you gonna do me like that? You are watching the movie Meet the Spartans From the creators of Scary Movie and Date Movie comes this tongue-in-cheek parody of the sword-and-sandal epics, dubbed Meet the Spartans. Mike was I have a friend. You're never gonna be a Spartan! It is simply a mess, without a single redeeming feature. It looks like backstage of an Elton John concert! When Persian messenger Traitoro Diedrich Bader arrives to deliver a message from Persian King Xerxes Ken Davitian , who is trying to take over Sparta, Leonidas responds by kicking him into the pit of death.
From the creators of Scary Movie and Date Movie comes this tongue-in-cheek parody of the sword-and-sandal epics, dubbed Meet the Spartans. Poor guy, went to see it opening night. The only people who would enjoy this are either drunk, stoned or severely brain-damaged. Prophet: Battle formation he calls it. For my own part, I was laughing and hollering too much at the little purple animals floating around in the cinema to notice much of the movie.
I come here with this huge army, we're gonna shish kebab your ass! Institute Alternative Cosmetic Oils for Regenerative Natural Skin-care. Although the Spartan Oracle, Ugly Betty Crista Flanagan , tells Leonidas that he will die if he goes to war, the king decides to recruit 300 of his finest Spartan warriors to help him defend the pass at Thermopylae against the Persian invaders. He learns from his dim-witted best friend, Cody, a porcupine and street-con, that while he was in lock-up, the entire forest was picked clean by The A. One can only hope it will produce more sequels than the Star Wars and the Police Academy series combined. I thought the Scary Movies were good for a laugh, but it is really obvious now that Friedberg and Setzer are utterly devoid of talent and were simply relying on the Wayans Brothers to cover for them. After a while the exertions of the previous 2 days took their toll and they fell asleep with their precious heads lolling into my unwashed groin.
From 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie comes this tongue-in-cheek parody of the sword-and-sandal epics. Say hello to Captain Adorable! Summary: The heroic Leonidas, armed with nothing by leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag group of 13 - count 'em, 13! Ogre Baby: Are you my mama? Leonidas: tied to a chair Who the hell is Mr. A few hours later I receive a phone call. Leonidas: The Oracle also said that our painted-on abs look fake! But unfortunately, a simple kid. In fact, calling it a 'film' is more praise than it deserves. Leonidas' Grandmother: Come on, you little shit! Nothing, just some guys with swords. Mike was found in the back of the theater.
The only people who would enjoy this are either drunk, stoned or severely brain-damaged. The runtime of Meet the Spartans is 84 minutes 01 hours 24 minutes. He tries to ask bargain with the movie star, but strange things happen during his dealing, and a conspiracy begins. Leonidas: Yo mama's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookiee! Narrator: You only went out on one date, but you'll remember it forever. I do remember bits of the trailer getting repeated over and over again, but that must have been the hallucinations as well. You're making a terrible mistake! But shoot, I wasn't complaining :- All in all it was probably the greatest day of my life, and perhaps anyone's life.
I was even more delighted when I saw the trailer. And you just pop 'em in your mouth. Leonidas: Well, he's got a huge package. Paris Hilton: Have you seen a shower? But I beg to differ! It's just like breast milk, but it's fried. Leonidas does the exact opposite Stop throwing people into the Pit of Death! Born with biceps and the uncanny ability to survive all obstacles including an attack by a penguin , King Leonidas Sean Maguire is the leader of Sparta, a city-state in ancient Greece.
The heroic Spartan king Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag bunch of 13 Spartan misfit warriors to defend their homeland against thousands of invading Persians whom include the Ghost Rider, Rocky Balboa, the Autobots, and an ugly hunchbacked Paris Hilton and a shaved-head Brittany Spears. I thought the Scary Movies This is the worst film in the history of time. But enough about your career as a hairstylist. All too often comedy movie trailers contain all the best jokes, leaving nothing funny for the actual movie. And what a movie it was! Look at me-I'm booby-feeding my baby.
Prophet: Chest waxer says what. It is simply a mess, without a single redeeming feature. You see, he was fooled by the promising trailers for Meet The Spartans. Leonidas: We may have won the battle, but they will win the war! The first battles are of the hip-hop variety, and taking position at the narrow Thermopylae pass provides a huge strategic advantage, but a goat trail back-door is betrayed to Xerxes. Although Leondias and his soldiers keep triumphing over their adversaries, things begin to look grave for the brave Spartans when evil Paris Hilton Nicole Parker decides to betray them. Bond, what is the account number? No acorn was left behind. My own memories are a little hazy given the addled state I was in after two days in the street.
If there was one film crying out for a sequel, it must surely be this one. In fact, I've seen better kicks from a geriatric donkey and I am not talking about you Paula. Poor guy, went to see it opening night. I call 'em milk poppers. A few hours later I receive a phone call. Leonidas: That is how men greet each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men. The heroic Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag group of 13 Spartans to defend their homeland against the invading Persians whose ranks include Ghost Rider, Rocky Balboa, the Transformers, and a hunchbacked Paris Hilton.